Tag Archives: motherhood

2019 Resolutions: I’m coming for ya!

Sure, I failed my 2018 resolutions and I’m sure I’ll fail with my 2019 goals, but at least I can say I’ve made an effort to change and do better. That’s better than being unhappy as a stick in the mud, with no drive or will to improve whatsoever, right?

Just like last year, I’m giving you the list, and then getting in depth below:

  1. Lose 30 pounds (which would put me at around 120)
  2. Record 3 total videos each week (one per channel)
  3. Read 50 books – trades and graphic novels included
  4. Make a task list every. single. day!

Four goals, not too difficult, right? Well, we’ll see. Now, to the nitty gritty.

FIRST GOAL: Lose 30 pounds

I’m in the 150 range, so I think 30 would be a healthy amount to lose to get me to a starting point where I can start focusing solely on strength and muscle building. My current state of chronic pain doesn’t allow me to do much weight training as I’d like. Every time I want to dive back into lifting, I get a few days in, a couple of weeks if I’m lucky, and then my body starts reverting into that “hell no, you need to rest for a month” stage, which causes me to slip into depressive, though functional, states.

I should be meeting with a doctor this month, so my intention is to bring up my goal of losing 30 pounds and see if there should be any adjustments to that. If there is, I’ll update you guys. If not… I’ll still update you guys as often as my butt can get on here. Clearly, that is a challenge.

SECOND GOAL: Record 3 videos per week (one per channel)

This one will be met with some friction, I already know. I take a long time to edit even just a 10 minute video because I have an entire house to keep clean, 3 kids to keep happy, well-mannered, and healthy, and having a social media presence is sort of required if I want my channels to grow. I’m hoping that with a goal of ONE video per channel instead of two per channel, it’ll give me a chance to focus on my home life, social media presence, and also work on the quality of my content, rather than me just trying to push out content for the sake of content. If that makes sense.

With the growth I’ve seen in the last two weeks on my discussion channel, I’ve purchased a new mic to increase the quality of the videos… for some reason my webcam’s mic just doesn’t pick up sound as well.

THIRD GOAL: Read 50 books – trades and graphic novels included

Last year, my reading goal was 25 books, which I exceeded by 3, if we’re just counting novels and not graphic novels, comics, novellas, etc. So why not double it and give myself a bit of a challenge.

Speaking of challenges, I want to incorporate the 2018 Read Harder challenge into this 50 book goal, which you can find here! Thanks to the overdrive and hoopla apps (and our frequent library trips), this could serve as a much more realistic, solid resolution.

FOURTH GOAL: Make a daily task list

I did this for months in 2018 and it helped me stay on top of our home, though I didn’t always get to everything. It tapered off in the summer, and started up again when we moved into our new house. I’m hoping to keep to a DAILY list this year, to maximize my productivity, and minimize my anxiety.

This year I’m hoping to throw caution to the wind and be unapologetically me, without worrying about the judgment of others because let’s be honest, not everyone has a goal to focus on. Let them eat cake and judge.

Let’s go, 2019!

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I FAILED My Resolutions & That’s Ok!

I remember how stoked I was in December 2017 to set my goals for the following year (ahem, hi 2018). I thought they were achievable even though I made sure they were BIG. Go big or go home, right? But I also had a lot of secret goals that I didn’t want to share with everyone until I was close to achieving them (like shedding back and hip fat).

Imagine my absolute shock (sense the sarcasm) when I did NOT achieve all of my goals! Let me break it down for you (or you can go to my original post here).

These are the goals I WANTED to achieve:

  • Wear a bikini (with confidence) by swimming season
  • Improve form and posture
  • Two Macrobabe videos per week
  • Experiment with new recipes
  • SPREAD POSITIVITY

And theses are the goals I actually achieved:

  • Wear a bikini (with confidence) by swimming season
  • Improve form and posture
  • Two Macrobabe videos per week
  • Experiment with new recipes
  • SPREAD POSITIVITY (by a technicality)

At the time, I wanted to feel and look good, and I wanted to feel right in my skin. But my pain, which I thought was from pushing myself too hard and pulling muscles left and right, became chronic. It has caused me to slip into a very negative mindset, like a stick in the mud.

So no, I did not wear my bikini with confidence in myself (and I know there are people watching this blog who have called me fake and that I fake confidence, and I definitely have faked confidence, but if it gets me closer to the mindset I want, why is that a bad thing? At least I’m not faking friendships…). I wore a bikini and had a good time with friends (who, despite me leaving the friendship, and contrary to what they want to believe, I have no ill will towards lol).

I improved my form and posture, but it wasn’t from persistence in my workouts because I stopped working out with weights as much, and I decreased my cardio quite a bit. I ended up doing a lot more yoga and to this day still stretch twice a day. When I’m at my computer editing or watching TV or even eating a meal, I try to be mindful of my shoulders, back, and hips.

I absolutely failed in my macrobabe uploads. I know I harp on it, but my pain has felt like such a weight against me. Be forewarned though, I’m documenting my journey to getting a diagnosis and getting better, and it might get ranty and annoying!

On the plus, I did pretty amazing with my recipe experimenting. My family and I have tried a bunch of different types of food as a result of this goal. I couldn’t be happier! Recipes to come in this next year, hopefully (no promises, because let’s be honest, I am trash at commitment).

By a technicality, I spread some positivity. I felt as though I was a good influence for awhile and I’ve been determined to put on my positive pants, but I allowed an extremely toxic person in my life, who even though I was warned about, I wanted to believe I could be a positive influence to them. But it turned out they were like… a vampire, sucking all of my good vibes, telling me about how everyone else bad-mouthed me, and making me feel so isolated in a place that I thought I was welcomed. I allowed that to sit and poison me instead of reaching out to those other people for an explanation, to help fix the relationships with the others. Again, I’ve pushed through it, and though I don’t have any ill will towards any of them, I definitely intend on telling my story eventually and live my best life with all of them in the past.

By no means am I perfect, and I don’t pretend to be, but I’m still proud of the little that I accomplished. At the very least, I can say I’m a person who tries her hardest and has good intentions. I look forward to working on flaws and sharing my 2019 New Year’s Resolutions with all of you, even if resolutions are designed to fail.

I’ll see you all in the New Year. 2019, here we come!

Oh, My Gourd! | Monday Check-In

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone! The food was great, although I wasn’t able to eat as much as I would have liked due to poisoning myself with milk earlier in the day. Ever since the season started, I keep forgetting to ask for my peppermint mocha to come with soy instead of regular cow’s milk.

Continue reading Oh, My Gourd! | Monday Check-In