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Woohoo! New month, new goals! My novel is done – well, not done, but at least I’ve written 50k in 30 days! I’m sure I’ll have an update for you guys on my booktube (RaineReads) for the curious ones.

This month I’ll be working on short stories for my friends (don’t ask), editing my first novel for re-self-publication, and LOSING AN INCH AROUND EACH ARM! So two inches in total! I’m meal planning but not prepping for this month and next week I’ll have a little bit of that for you guys, and of course Christmas dinner is a day in which I’m letting myself eat literally anything without consequence or excessive workouts afterwards. There’s a week of school break where I’m not sure what’s going to be going on so I don’t have anything planned that week, but I’ll be winging it each day.

Anyway, I have my workout calendar down below. That actual moves I’ll be doing on those days will rely heavily on whether or not I’m having tendonitis flare-ups. I can only run outside on days where my significant other has off, so while I have cardio listed, the type of cardio is dependent on his work schedule.

It hasĀ  since been filled out at the bottom. My left bicep is 11.5 inches non-flexed, my right bicep is 11.75 non-flexed.

I hope to have some meal prep recipes for you guys this month, but for sure I’ll have two family dessert recipes coming atcha! I’ll see you guys for my first December check in on Monday!


Indulge & Lose

One of the things I absolutely love to tell all of my friends and folks who watch my youtube is this: weight loss is strictly dependent on calories in versus calories out. If you consume X amount of calories, you need to burn off more than that in order to lose weight – whether that’s fat loss or otherwise.

Everyone knows the holidays are a time of indulgence, and often times weight gain. There are a plethora of reasons that people gain weight during the holidays – stress, work overload, difficulty managing time, the weather, etc.

One of the biggest worries I hear about is the holiday feasts causing issues in a person’s diet. The very first thing I want to tell you is this: If you’re eating well 80% of the time and exercising as much as you feel you can, then those dinners are not something you need to worry about. However, if you’re still having trouble, here are some helpful tips to maneuver around that:

  1. Fill your plate with a little bit of everything. Starches, greens, turkey or ham (both, if you like), cranberry sauce.
  2. Take your time to eat what you can off of your plate
  3. Still hungry? Go for seconds.
  4. Listen to your body when it says “Whooooaaa!”
  5. When it’s time for dessert, pick one or a little bit of all.

That sounds simple, right? It’s what you would tell a kid, so why are we any different? Besides having the full capacity to choose what we want, we aren’t different. The conversation you can engage in between dinner and dessert will give your body time to make room.

If all else fails and you still feel like a blimp by the end of the night, you can always wake up for some cardio the next morning!

The most important thing I want everyone reading this to know is that you are allowed to indulge during the holidays – and all year round! It’s hard to get into the habit of healthy eating, and it’s even harder to get into the habit of telling yourself it’s ok to indulge every once in awhile, but you will be exponentially happier when you can form that habit!

If it helps, ask yourself if what you are doing is hurting you, or fueling you. (Here’s the secret: any food can fuel you in a reasonable amount, but it’s up to you to decide where the point is from helpful to harmful.)

Hardly Eating, But No Weight Loss? Here’s Why!

A lot of people resorting to extreme caloric restriction, some later developing eating disorders as a result, do so in order to lose weight. This is a big mistake.

Coming from a constantly recovering anorectic – still a term I find odd, I do admit – I can tell you from history, you’re screwing yourself and your body over. Deficits are perfectly fine over a short period of time and for a purpose.

Here’s what typically happens when someone eats once a day:

First, you forget to eat breakfast, but you go about your work day. It’s a busy day so you decide to skip lunch. Maybe you snag a bag of chips or an apple so you have something to snack on, at least. Or maybe you tell yourself, “I’ll just eat a little more than usual when I get home, to make up for what I forgot to eat.”

Because your body is running on the energy that you are providing, in this case nothing, you’re getting your energy from muscle and excess fat stores. It runs on that until you eat.

By the time you eat, you put as much as you think you can eat on your plate. That may be anywhere between 300-2000 calories. Soon after, you may stay up to watch some Netflix, do household chores, or maybe you decide to crash instead. All of what you’ve just consumed is being stored for later use. It commonly gets stored in fat because you’re not using that energy/those calories right away.

When you go through that process every day, all of the unused energy is stored and rarely used. It becomes even worse when you throw alcohol into the mix.

Contrary to popular belief, hard liquor is not healthier than beer, malt beverages, or wine. Additionally, clear liquor is not healthier than dark liquor (white vs gold rum/tequila, etc.). I’ve even met people who believed that liquor didn’t contain any calories. They do, in case you were wondering.

Aside from the sometimes less than obvious reason of calories in vs calories out, in the case of alcohol in weight gain, even though you barely eat or eat one good meal a day, if you add alcohol to your daily intake it can complicate the metabolizing process.

When you consume alcohol, it’s split two ways: fat stores and immediate energy. That means that the food already in your system isn’t what you’re using as an energy source: carbohydrates, sugars, fats are now in surplus because your body is using the acetate from alcohol. Where does the surplus go, but to fat storage. In addition, drinking will raise cortisol (causing muscle to break down) and lower testosterone (making it difficult to build muscle).

“I go the whole day without eating, I don’t know why I’m gaining weight.” You need to realize that the first statement is in direct correlation with the second. You’re gaining weight because by the time you eat, your body no longer needs that fuel.

“But you starved yourself and lost 50 lbs!” Yes, I starved myself. I could eat at most half a croissant a day. I drank lots of water to make me feel full, lost my period for a short time, and any time I ate a significant amount (by my standard, which was used to at most 500 calories a day vs the required 1600/day without any activity) I would gain weight.

Want to know how to lose weight without going so long without eating? Stay tuned for next week’s post on guaranteed tips to lose weight. We’re approaching a new year, after all. Why not decide to form sustainable habits? Until next time!


Relapsing | Part of the Process

It’s Friday, or French Fries-Yay!

If you haven’t kept up with my youtube channel, you may not know of the struggle I’ve been going through as of late, and I really don’t go that in depth on my most recent video. So here’s my chance to explain how things are going, in real time. If you’d like to check out the video before continuing, it’s right here:


I’ve found that I’m still having these very destructive, disordered thoughts running through my brain. Whenever I have to decide what to eat, it feels like there’s this violent onslaught of extreme self-deprecation. Last night, I wanted to make something easy after my workout, so I made a protein shake and had a small bowl of pasta. I really wish I had taken a picture so you could understand what I mean when I say I’m very conscious of how little I’m consuming, but I’m struggling to actually go through the act of consuming.

I know better than to expect my mind to fix itself over night. I know better than to assume it’s going to just fix itself altogether. I’ve been preoccupying myself with my three separate youtube channels, my novel, my reading goals, and my family. I’m constantly working at building my empire, so much so that when I finally managed to stop, this very morning – staring at the poptart that my son didn’t finish, debating whether or not I really wanted to put something like that in my body – I realized that the very foundation of my empire is based around health, physical and mental.


After being pregnant and giving birth twice – the latter being the healthiest mental state I had ever been in – I never thought I would relapse. Understand that I don’t mean to trivialize those with substance abuse problems; that’s a huge battle in itself for so many people. I’m not really sure what the proper term to use would be when it’s been more mental than physical.

I know that this still wasn’t as eloquent as I’m trying to convey, but it’s the best I can do at the moment. I expect a lot of frustration, anxiety, and self-deprecation in my future, but know that it’s not a battle I’m going to just roll over for, just because the opponent seems so daunting.

I’m in this battle to win. And I will.

Recipe: Tunami Sandwich

Ok, guys, you caught me. I’m a fraud. I absolutely admit to stealing the name from Bob’s Burgers. If I’m being honest, the name definitely should be reserved for something a little more epic than this little sandwich. But since I can’t think of anything else in my 5 month post-partum brain, we’re gonna stick with it.

Do you ever have one of those days where you just don’t know what to make so you search your cupboards and pantry to throw something together? Yeah, that’s pretty much my life. I like to think of it as Improv: The Theatre of Life (or in this case, the Kitchen but I digress).

Luckily, the chances of you having these ingredients are quite high, and surprise you only need 3 ingredients! Plus, you can spice this up, add produce, sliced meats, sauce, you name it!

Continue reading Recipe: Tunami Sandwich

Recipe: Breakfast Bowl For Two!

Ever since my boyfriend and I moved in, I have been cooking like a maniac – which is interesting, considering I’m a baker, not a chef. I’m pretty much Episode 1 of My Drunk Kitchen Hannah Hart. I can follow directions and I know what I like.

Continue reading Recipe: Breakfast Bowl For Two!