Another Thanksgiving has come and gone! The food was great, although I wasn’t able to eat as much as I would have liked due to poisoning myself with milk earlier in the day. Ever since the season started, I keep forgetting to ask for my peppermint mocha to come with soy instead of regular cow’s milk.
This is going to be short and sweet, or bittersweet. My body has not been feeling quite right and I have a large stack of paperwork to fill out, so I didn’t have the extra few hours to spend on my measure in this week.
It’s so complicated that I didn’t even have the chance to do any writing – luckily I’m ages ahead in my writing anyway, but I had to take the day off.
I seem to have had an allergic reaction to mosquitoes or spiders biting the absolute crap out of my legs. My legs are red and splotchy still, but at least today there aren’t any more welts. The unfortunate part is the red buzzer type of feeling every time I walk, and the bruise-like feeling any time the red parts are touched.
I ended up hitting my head and kept forgetting I hit my head, so when I would rest my head in my hand, I got a wonderful little reminder. By the end of the day I had a headache and the start of a fever, which just went up and down all night. I’m almost certain I was hogging the covers as well, so thank goodness my significant other is his own space heater!
This next week I’m just working on taking care of these responsibilities, maintaining my word count, and taking care of my health. I know I’m a bit clumsy, but yesterday was just a rough one! Until next time, have a good week, folks!
It’s been two entire weeks since my post regarding the relapse of my eating disorder and I want you all to know that while my mental state isn’t perfect, I’m doing so much better than I was.
In that two week period, I’m pleased to say that I went from munching far and few in between, to eating meals again. There are moments where an irrational part of my brain tells me I’m hurting my body, but the logical part is telling me that I am fueling my body!
Right now is the time I need it the most. The weather is changing, so I know that my weight will fluctuate and I’ll need a little more insulation – and guys, it gets ice cold at night here!
This month I’m finishing a novel that has been on my mind for almost the entire year of 2017, and I hit a slump but with National Novel Writing Month, I’ve decided to really kick it into high gear.
I haven’t exercised once all week (unless you count the walk I went on with my friend who visited). Luckily, I have no health goals for this entire month besides eat regularly and exercise as often as I can. I’ll be taking a photo and posting it on my private Instagram just in case, but I’m certain this month will be very writing-centric.
I’ve already decided that Thanksgiving will be the only day I put any effort into being social and my significant other seems impressed with my determination. Now let’s put that determination to the test and see if I can finish this novel!
All in all, I’m feeling good, albeit a little disorganized. Until next time!
It’s Friday, or French Fries-Yay!
If you haven’t kept up with my youtube channel, you may not know of the struggle I’ve been going through as of late, and I really don’t go that in depth on my most recent video. So here’s my chance to explain how things are going, in real time. If you’d like to check out the video before continuing, it’s right here:
I’ve found that I’m still having these very destructive, disordered thoughts running through my brain. Whenever I have to decide what to eat, it feels like there’s this violent onslaught of extreme self-deprecation. Last night, I wanted to make something easy after my workout, so I made a protein shake and had a small bowl of pasta. I really wish I had taken a picture so you could understand what I mean when I say I’m very conscious of how little I’m consuming, but I’m struggling to actually go through the act of consuming.
I know better than to expect my mind to fix itself over night. I know better than to assume it’s going to just fix itself altogether. I’ve been preoccupying myself with my three separate youtube channels, my novel, my reading goals, and my family. I’m constantly working at building my empire, so much so that when I finally managed to stop, this very morning – staring at the poptart that my son didn’t finish, debating whether or not I really wanted to put something like that in my body – I realized that the very foundation of my empire is based around health, physical and mental.
After being pregnant and giving birth twice – the latter being the healthiest mental state I had ever been in – I never thought I would relapse. Understand that I don’t mean to trivialize those with substance abuse problems; that’s a huge battle in itself for so many people. I’m not really sure what the proper term to use would be when it’s been more mental than physical.
I know that this still wasn’t as eloquent as I’m trying to convey, but it’s the best I can do at the moment. I expect a lot of frustration, anxiety, and self-deprecation in my future, but know that it’s not a battle I’m going to just roll over for, just because the opponent seems so daunting.
I’m in this battle to win. And I will.
If you’ve ever had negative thoughts about your body, this is the post for you.
Recently we went through all of the boxes we packed from my apartment when I moved here, and there really wasn’t as much as I thought. But what there was a lot of was clothes! I mean, I had 2 suitcases and a duffle bag of clothes that I thought wouldn’t fit for a looooong time. I was happily wrong!
I’ve been crackin’ down and it is PAYING OFF! The only day that I let loose entirely was the day of the McGregor/Mayweather fight. Can we stop to talk about that, by the way? I’m pretty disappointed. The whole time Mayweather was on defense and McGregor was just throwin’ punches. I can’t help but wonder if that was a fixed fight. I KNOW, I KNOW, DON’T BE A CONSPIRACY NUT, RAINE. Ok, I get it. I was just musing, gosh!
Back to the topic at hand, my fat loss goal was to lose 3 inches overall and I exceeded my own expectations! That deserves a round of applause and a pat on the back! 5.25 inches, poof gone!
I’ve been utilizing an old notebook to track my progress and write down all of my daily goals, workout routines, even a little homework section! I think having that is what really helped me kick things into high gear and look at that progress!
I am one happy chick and all it took was a little effort, planning, and lots of determination! I’ve even heard from one of my friends that she’s been seeing progress from doing one of my workout videos. I cannot express how pleased that makes me to hear!
I’ll see you guys next time with an update or recipe, who knows! Have an awesome week, folks!
Another week down and my progress is finally evident! I might have mentioned, or maybe I didn’t, that this month my focus would be on my arms and back. DISCLAIMER: That does not mean I’m only doing arm and back related workouts; I’m just more focused on those area considering that’s where my weaknesses are.
I’ve been doing 3 arm/back days a week and it’s starting to pay off. I don’t have nearly as many progress pictures as I would like but this one is something special.
Yesterday, I measured around my right bicep. You can imagine my shock and awe when I saw that I had dropped from 13 inches to 11.5! I started focusing more on these areas on July 25th, which makes that a good 2 week progress. My goal was to be down to 11 inches by October, so I think I’ll make it in good time! Let’s see if I can zap that half an inch over the next 2 weeks!
In other areas, I’ve lost about half an inch around my hips. I haven’t focused nearly as much on my midsection as I probably should. I definitely put my booty over my abs, but next month my challenge will be to shrink down 2 inches around my hips.
Second DISCLAIMER: Those of you who follow my youtube videos will notice that I don’t have a “progress” video… I do, but due to how I feel about clutter and multiple uploads per day/week, my progress video won’t be going up until the following Monday. This Monday I have my recipe video of my delicious breakfast sandwich. The perks of working in food service is learning how to do that stuff at home!
Until next update, guys! Keep up the hard work and don’t forget to hydrate!
In addition to doing my youtube videos, I’ll be posting with a little more depth into my journey. So hold onto your pants guys, this should be very interesting and entertaining.
This past week has been a rough one. I lost a friend who apparently never had any interest in us even being friends in the first place and befriended me to try and screw up my relationship (not realizing how honest my significant other is with me… about everything, literally). I can delve into that a little bit deeper, but until I have a moment to organize my thoughts on that, I’m letting it sit and stew in the corner.