Relapsing | Part of the Process

It’s Friday, or French Fries-Yay!

If you haven’t kept up with my youtube channel, you may not know of the struggle I’ve been going through as of late, and I really don’t go that in depth on my most recent video. So here’s my chance to explain how things are going, in real time. If you’d like to check out the video before continuing, it’s right here:

 

I’ve found that I’m still having these very destructive, disordered thoughts running through my brain. Whenever I have to decide what to eat, it feels like there’s this violent onslaught of extreme self-deprecation. Last night, I wanted to make something easy after my workout, so I made a protein shake and had a small bowl of pasta. I really wish I had taken a picture so you could understand what I mean when I say I’m very conscious of how little I’m consuming, but I’m struggling to actually go through the act of consuming.

I know better than to expect my mind to fix itself over night. I know better than to assume it’s going to just fix itself altogether. I’ve been preoccupying myself with my three separate youtube channels, my novel, my reading goals, and my family. I’m constantly working at building my empire, so much so that when I finally managed to stop, this very morning – staring at the poptart that my son didn’t finish, debating whether or not I really wanted to put something like that in my body – I realized that the very foundation of my empire is based around health, physical and mental.

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After being pregnant and giving birth twice – the latter being the healthiest mental state I had ever been in – I never thought I would relapse. Understand that I don’t mean to trivialize those with substance abuse problems; that’s a huge battle in itself for so many people. I’m not really sure what the proper term to use would be when it’s been more mental than physical.

I know that this still wasn’t as eloquent as I’m trying to convey, but it’s the best I can do at the moment. I expect a lot of frustration, anxiety, and self-deprecation in my future, but know that it’s not a battle I’m going to just roll over for, just because the opponent seems so daunting.

I’m in this battle to win. And I will.

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Monday Check-In: Weight Loss Logistics

If you’ve ever had negative thoughts about your body, this is the post for you.

Recently we went through all of the boxes we packed from my apartment when I moved here, and there really wasn’t as much as I thought. But what there was a lot of was clothes! I mean, I had 2 suitcases and a duffle bag of clothes that I thought wouldn’t fit for a looooong time. I was happily wrong!

Continue reading Monday Check-In: Weight Loss Logistics

Millenial Hacks: Making coffee from scratch

Now before you ride my ass and tell me that this isn’t actually from scratch: I know, I’m not a coffee bean farmer or whatever those wonderful saviors call themselves. What this hack or recipe entails is essentially making coffee without the standard equipment necessary. I don’t own a Keurig machine, nor do I own a coffee maker.

But when we don’t have time to go into town for Starbucks and I still need my caffeine fix, this is what we do. In this video, it was my very first attempt at making coffee this way, so you are seeing my reaction in “real time”, as it were.

Depending on how strong you like your coffee, you want 2 tablespoons per cup. I used my mug to measure 2 and a half cups of coffee and put in two “heaps” (according to the measuring spoon) of coffee.

  1. Boil your water (again, it depends on how much you want to make, but remember there will be coffee grounds at the bottom so you won’t actually be consuming the entire pot of coffee).
  2. Grind up your coffee beans (unless you buy coffee grounds, then skip this step) in either a blender or food processor, whatever you have around. If nothing, put the grounds in a bag and smash it with a hammer/meat tenderizer/etc.
  3. When your water is boiling, pour in your coffee grounds and immediately remove the pot from the burner. Cover the top with a plate, a lid, whatever you have around, really.
  4. Give it time to steep, about five minutes.
  5. Pour your coffee into your favorite mug and enjoy!

It takes a bit more time and effort than a coffee machine, but if I’m being honest I really like to save money and if I have to spend an extra 10 minutes in the morning to make coffee, I’m DOWN.

If you enjoy these videos/posts, subscribe to my youtube account or follow this blog. If there’s anything you’d like me to cover in my videos or blog, leave me a comment below!

Monday Check-In: MAJOR FAT LOSS!

I’ve been crackin’ down and it is PAYING OFF! The only day that I let loose entirely was the day of the McGregor/Mayweather fight. Can we stop to talk about that, by the way? I’m pretty disappointed. The whole time Mayweather was on defense and McGregor was just throwin’ punches. I can’t help but wonder if that was a fixed fight. I KNOW, I KNOW, DON’T BE A CONSPIRACY NUT, RAINE. Ok, I get it. I was just musing, gosh!

Back to the topic at hand, my fat loss goal was to lose 3 inches overall and I exceeded my own expectations! That deserves a round of applause and a pat on the back! 5.25 inches, poof gone!

I’ve been utilizing an old notebook to track my progress and write down all of my daily goals, workout routines, even a little homework section! I think having that is what really helped me kick things into high gear and look at that progress!

I am one happy chick and all it took was a little effort, planning, and lots of determination! I’ve even heard from one of my friends that she’s been seeing progress from doing one of my workout videos. I cannot express how pleased that makes me to hear!

I’ll see you guys next time with an update or recipe, who knows! Have an awesome week, folks!

Monday Check-In: FAT LOSS

Another week down and my progress is finally evident! I might have mentioned, or maybe I didn’t, that this month my focus would be on my arms and back. DISCLAIMER: That does not mean I’m only doing arm and back related workouts; I’m just more focused on those area considering that’s where my weaknesses are.

I’ve been doing 3 arm/back days a week and it’s starting to pay off. I don’t have nearly as many progress pictures as I would like but this one is something special.

Yesterday, I measured around my right bicep. You can imagine my shock and awe when I saw that I had dropped from 13 inches to 11.5! I started focusing more on these areas on July 25th, which makes that a good 2 week progress. My goal was to be down to 11 inches by October, so I think I’ll make it in good time! Let’s see if I can zap that half an inch over the next 2 weeks!

In other areas, I’ve lost about half an inch around my hips. I haven’t focused nearly as much on my midsection as I probably should. I definitely put my booty over my abs, but next month my challenge will be to shrink down 2 inches around my hips.

Second DISCLAIMER: Those of you who follow my youtube videos will notice that I don’t have a “progress” video… I do, but due to how I feel about clutter and multiple uploads per day/week, my progress video won’t be going up until the following Monday. This Monday I have my recipe video of my delicious breakfast sandwich. The perks of working in food service is learning how to do that stuff at home!

Until next update, guys! Keep up the hard work and don’t forget to hydrate!

RECIPE: The Brunchwich

In today’s video, I made an oh-so-delicious breakfast sandwich that was packed with protein and it was filling! So if you have an extra 15 minutes in the morning or whenever – because let’s be honest, breakfast food is acceptable at every meal – then go ahead and try this out!

Continue reading RECIPE: The Brunchwich

Monday Check-In!

In addition to doing my youtube videos, I’ll be posting with a little more depth into my journey. So hold onto your pants guys, this should be very interesting and entertaining.

This past week has been a rough one. I lost a friend who apparently never had any interest in us even being friends in the first place and befriended me to try and screw up my relationship (not realizing how honest my significant other is with me… about everything, literally). I can delve into that a little bit deeper, but until I have a moment to organize my thoughts on that, I’m letting it sit and stew in the corner.

Continue reading Monday Check-In!

Recipe: Tunami Sandwich

Ok, guys, you caught me. I’m a fraud. I absolutely admit to stealing the name from Bob’s Burgers. If I’m being honest, the name definitely should be reserved for something a little more epic than this little sandwich. But since I can’t think of anything else in my 5 month post-partum brain, we’re gonna stick with it.

Do you ever have one of those days where you just don’t know what to make so you search your cupboards and pantry to throw something together? Yeah, that’s pretty much my life. I like to think of it as Improv: The Theatre of Life (or in this case, the Kitchen but I digress).

Luckily, the chances of you having these ingredients are quite high, and surprise you only need 3 ingredients! Plus, you can spice this up, add produce, sliced meats, sauce, you name it!

Continue reading Recipe: Tunami Sandwich

Recipe: Breakfast Bowl For Two!

Ever since my boyfriend and I moved in, I have been cooking like a maniac – which is interesting, considering I’m a baker, not a chef. I’m pretty much Episode 1 of My Drunk Kitchen Hannah Hart. I can follow directions and I know what I like.

Continue reading Recipe: Breakfast Bowl For Two!